There is a couple in NOW OR NEVER who cannot be together. Rather, the guy in that relationship, Anthony "Ant" Mooreland, will not cross the line into a romantic liaison. He wants to, but his girl, Happy, is three years younger, seventeen to his twenty. Three years. And it seems like three-thousand.
When I first introduced Happy to the Nevermore world, I had no idea that she and Ant would develop this yearning for each other. As I wrote the end of NEVER AGAIN, and watched them connect in that soulful way so many of us wish for (and why so many of us read and/or write romance novels), I knew it wasn't time to write their story.
In NOW OR NEVER, Ant refuses to move out of the friendship circle. Happy would fall into his arms if he even aimed his lips in her direction, but she respects his struggle for honor, for control, even though it hurts her.
And here's the thing: Love hurts.
It makes you vulnerable. It makes you worry. It makes you yearn.
Yearning. It's an ache that pierces your belly and sits there like a pool of acid, like a bag of rocks, like a pile of knives. You wonder ... did I say the wrong thing? Do the wrong thing? What if finally, some way, some how, I broke the bond? And yes, as I answer these questions, explore these feelings with my characters, I find myself trapped in the same unbearable place as they are. Life reflected in writing.
To want so much, so deeply, so endlessly ... it hurts. It wraps around your heart and squeezes. It crawls into your brain and burrows. It slithers over your lungs and suffocates. Today, I can't breathe. I ache. I yearn. And even though it's torture, I endure. I wait. I write.